In the six years that Drew Sidora has been married to Ralph Pittman, she has come to learn that "marriage is work."
During Sunday night's episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, the newest peach-holding Housewife and her husband opened up about the struggles that they were dealing with in their relationship, including Ralph going on an unannounced three-day solo trip, during which he had limited contact with his wife — who accused him of spying on their family while he was away.
"My husband is Ralph David Pittman. He's an entrepreneur in that IT realm. We have three beautiful children. We have been married for six years and we have been together for six-and-a-half years. That always sounds so crazy when I say that," Drew, who moved to Atlanta from Los Angeles, said in a confessional.
She continued, "I met him when I was on the press tour for TLC biopic. Three months later, we end up going for lunch; six months later, we were married. It was me, my son Josiah from a previous relationship, Ralph and our pastor on the beach. It was amazing — it was a match made in heaven."
At the time of filming, the pair was celebrating their six-year anniversary, which Ralph kicked off by bringing Drew mimosas and a bouquet of roses in bed with the help of her mom, Pastor Jeanette, who was living with them. (She came from Chicago "to help Ralph with the kids when I had my first surgery and then COVID happened and she has been here ever since," Drew explained. "She has a front row seat to everything that we go through and she definitely makes her opinion known, and I'm just here in the middle and I'm just having to figure it out.")
"We made it, babe. Like, six years is hard work," Drew, who was recovering from an injured Achilles tendon, told Ralph as he surprised her in the bedroom.
Describing their relationship, Drew told cameras that it "can be quite acrobatic, quite unbalanced." "We're best friends, we get along when we love," she said. "But when it's low, it's super low. And we're arguing about things in year six that we argued about like, year one."
Later on in the episode, the Step Up actress was invited to a wine tasting at Cynthia Bailey's home, where Housewife Kenya Moore and friends LaToya Ali and Marlo Hampton were in attendance.
Ralph also came along to the gathering, where he spent time with Cynthia's then-fiancé, Mike Hill — and got candid about the state of his marriage. "You know, when we first went into it, it was utopia. And then all of a sudden you start getting to the problems and the headaches," Ralph told Mike.
He went on to say that what he was "starting to value now, more than anything else, is happiness."
"Because, I mean, we got a pandemic going on. We got three kids that's home all the time. I can't travel," said Ralph, who served as Drew's "nurse" as she recovered from her injury. "This has become a roller coaster. I didn't even add in there that I got my mother-in-law at my house staying with me. She is type-A, extremely strong personality, so the problem with me is now I'm a dominant man. It's like two bulls hitting up against each other, and so I have to actually just get out and just go."
After Mike asked if he had ever left the house to "cool off for a second," Ralph disclosed that he had gone off for a few days.
"Man, I've actually left for days. You know? I've actually had to take a couple days off," he said. "Of course, I make sure everything is together to where there's not going to be a void whatsoever, but at the same time, I've got to find a space. Because if I'm not happy, I'm not good for anybody."
Mike encouraged Ralph to speak with Drew, and he agreed that it was something that he needed to do. "We both need to be working this thing correctly in order for us to be a well-oiled machine," Ralph said.
Meanwhile, while speaking with the ladies, Drew, 35, was vulnerable about the behind-the-scenes of her relationship, admitting that she and Ralph had discussed the possibility of divorce.
"I've divorced my husband like, every other day," she said, going on to clarify, "My husband will say we're getting a divorce. Like we've said, 'Okay, we're going to get our own places, we're going to get lawyers.' I'm telling you for real, last week he left and didn't tell me where he was."
"He was gone for like, three days," she continued. "My husband is a runner, so he likes to go and he doesn't want to answer anybody." She told the women that when they "get in a fight, we think we can't come back from it, and so we scream 'divorce.' And then today we're smiling and I'd be like, 'How did we get here? This is crazy. I love you.' And it's genuine, it's not fake. We just put it aside so that we can have productive conversation."
Recalling the moment Ralph left, Drew explained in a confessional that she and her husband "got into a huge argument," and that Ralph "was at a breaking point for sure." She continued: "So he went to his office, you know, to cool off, and later that night when I went to check on him, he was gone. And I didn't see him for three days."
Later on, at the conclusion of the episode, the couple's frustrations came to a boiling point when Ralph surprised Drew with an anniversary dinner at their house, complete with a chef-cooked meal.
But although the "romantic" meal, which began with the couple praying while holding hands, was intended to be celebratory, it turned into a full-blown argument — with Drew ending up in tears after Ralph asked his wife what she thought about what was and wasn't working in their marriage.
Drew began discussing their time in marriage counseling, when they both said "transparency" was important in their "recipe for marriage."
"I feel like that's just not a part of the marriage," Drew told him. "You don't ever put that ingredient, like, in the marriage. … You feel comfortable just leaving and not telling me that you're leaving. That's one major issue. I'd like to see that change."
"When you go for a trip, do you feel like it's important to tell your wife that you're leaving, A?" she asked. "And B, that you're going for days and where you were? Because you left the other day and I still don't know where you were."
But Ralph had a different outlook, and didn't feel that his wife was seeing his perspective.
Attempting to explain his point of view, he said, "You don't really, truly understand men and how we work, especially Black men. If I leave, it's really, truly in the spur of the moment because I need to get away, and I'm making the best decision I possibly can make at that moment. Staying is worse than me leaving. And I leave because you have no idea about the pressure that I have that's on my shoulders. I came from nothing. I'm the first generation where I'm trying to create what a true legacy looks like."
Even though Drew said she was "agreeing" with him, the two weren't seeing eye-to-eye, and the RHOA star was left feeling like the conversation was a "setup" as Ralph grew visibly frustrated. Returning to the topic of him being gone for three days, Drew reminded him: "You left and I didn't know where you were. You didn't take my phone calls, you didn't talk to me, you didn't text me back unless it was about the house or about business."
"Go check your text messages and not one single text message went without being returned in one minute," he said. But still, Drew thought it was "crazy" that he thought he could leave the house and not tell his wife where he was or where he was going.
Ralph, however, did not feel that it was beneficial to tell her where he was. Though he said he was "always accessible," he resisted telling Drew where he had been as she pressed multiple times. "Where did you go? You can't tell me where you went," she said.
While he said he was at the "beach," he wouldn't give an exact location. Upon being asked if he left Georgia, he admitted, "absolutely," but insisted, "Me telling you where I am, what does that solve?"
"If there's an emergency, or anything that happens, I should know where my husband is," Drew told him. "We all thought you were downstairs. I got you dinner, I'm banging on the door. How do I not know my husband left the house?"
Finally, Ralph said he would "appease" his wife and revealed that he had been in Tampa. But her husband's three-day trip wasn't the only thing that was on Drew's mind. She also confronted him with another question: "You have a camera in the house that watches us?"
Though Ralph confirmed he has "cameras everywhere," Drew wanted to know: "Were you watching us when you were gone?"
Despite Ralph denying that he watched the footage, Drew believed he was lying to her. "You're lying to me," she said. "You were watching us in the family room. Me and my mom and the kids. I didn't know there was a camera there, and I saw the camera and you were watching us. So now you're lying to me, that's what we're doing? That's crazy."
The mother of three told cameras that Ralph has "always been 'big brother.' He's into this technology. I found a picture in his phone where I was sleeping, my mom was sitting on the couch and my kids were in the background. It's just too much. Like, that's disrespectful. It's an invasion of privacy. And I am so hurt."
"So you knew where I was, but I didn't know where you were," said Drew. "You see how lopsided that is?"
Frustrated and beginning to raise his voice, Ralph asked, "Do you want to get to another six years, yes or no? Do you want to get there?!"
"If you want to get there, then you've got to stop these stupid issues, because this right here has nothing to do with anything that's going to move us forward," he said. "And I'm telling you, until you go and get your head out of the clouds, you're not going to be able to get nowhere — and that's with me or anybody else."
He then asked his wife to show him the picture proof of her accusation in his phone, which she claimed he "deleted."
"Please don't lie to me right now. Do not lie to me," she said. "If you sit here and tell me that you was not watching us, I swear to God I will get up and walk out. Were you watching us on the camera?"
"I wasn't watching you on the camera," he told her.
After she asked again, Drew got up from the table and walked away, telling Ralph, "I'm done. I'm not going to sit here and look stupid. I'm not. Liar. F—ing liar."
Going into another room and slamming the door shut, Drew tearfully told her mother, Pastor Jeanette, that Ralph was "embarrassing" her.
"I hate that s—! He's acting dumb as hell. I'm just tired of it, like, don't f—ing lie to me. Like, what the hell?"
"I'm done," she continued. "I don't know how we move past it, 'cause we're not getting anywhere. I just feel like I can't get through to my husband. I'm done."
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays (8 p.m. ET) on Bravo.
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