We’ve got to hand it to RuPaul — after 15 seasons of Drag Race, she still has plenty of genuine surprises up her sleeve. Even when she’s not wearing any sleeves!
Friday’s episode pit the remaining 10 queens against each other in a LaLaPaRuza lip sync smackdown, one that ended with a three-part twist that left us so gagged we could vomit. (In a good way!)
Before we get to that ending, let’s breeze through the initial results:
* Malaysia Babydoll Foxx chose to battle Marcia Marcia Marcia, thinking she would be the easiest opponent — but she thought wrong. No amount of last-minute high kicks could save her from this doomed duel. I understand why Malaysia didn’t “give the people what they want” by taking on Mistress Isabelle Brooks, but like… why not just choose Spice?
* Malaysia’s loss was Loosey LaDuca’s gain, as she did get to pick Spice, and it was a much closer match than I expected. Both queens turned it out for Joan Jett’s “Do You Wanna Touch Me,” but Ru ultimately sided with Loosey. (Maybe she can take that as an honorary win and stop whining.)
* Next up, Luxx Noir London battled Salina EsTitties, the latter of whom chose a song she performs all the time, Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now.” That experience served her well, giving her the confidence, the moves and even the jokes to best Luxx.
* For the love of Taylor Dayne, Mistress leaned into the comedy of “Tell It To My Heart,” stealing the spotlight from Jax, whose signature gymnastics are always a delight.
* I’d also like to thank the final two queens, Anetra and Sasha Colby, for truly giving us a show. Capital “S.” The hairography! The cheek-ography! It was probably the best lip sync we’ve seen all season. In a normal situation, this would have been a no-brainer double shantay, but the sacred rules of LaLaPaRuZa must be obeyed. A choice was necessary, and Sasha was the right one.
With five queens safely seated in the Werk Room, the others remained on the runway, their fates still resting in the balls of the lip-sync gods, by way of their mortal vessel we call Bruno. In a second round of lip syncs, Malaysia bested Spice to the tune of Camila Cabello’s “Don’t Go Yet,” even though neither of them knew the words; and Luxx won a three-way battle against Jax and Anetra set to Vanessa Williams’ “The Right Stuff,” which is a song.
OK, here’s where the twists came in. Twist the First: Ru informed the final three queens — Anetra, Jax and Spice — that only two of them would be lip syncing for their lives. Twist the Second: When Bruno chose Anetra’s ball, it granted her the power to save one of the other queens from having to lip sync. Twist the Third: Rather than saving Jax and battling Spice, Anetra chose to save Spice and take on Jax!
Not a single soul from the Werk Room to the main stage remained ungooped at this point. Jax thought she had formed a tighter bond with Anetra, and Spice was already mentally preparing to prance back home to Sugar. And you know how hard it is for her to do stuff mentally!
Going up against Anetra was basically the worst possible outcome for Jax, though she did give her all in this battle set to CeCe Peniston’s “Finally.” Based on this lip sync, Ru was right to send Jax sashaying away.
But the question is: Should this really have been the final two, or should Anetra have saved Jax and sent Spice packing? Drop a comment with your thoughts below.
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