Louise Redknapp’s painful regret over Jamie split & secret she could not confess

Fed up of being a "Stepford wife", Louise Redknapp realised she needed to make a change in her life.

The former Eternal singer had been out of the limelight for years, but found a new lease of confidence while performing again on Strictly Come Dancing in 2017.

Louise, who is reportedly keen to find someone new after reports ex-husband Jamie Redknapp is dating again, got a new outlook when she competed in the BBC dancing competition.

Having found her love of getting up on stage once more, Louise feared she would never perform again – and did not want to go back to her old life.

Admitting she struggled with Jamie's success in an interview with the Telegraph in October 2017, Louise said: "I wanted kids so much, I was happy to put everything on hold for them.

"Standing by and watching Jamie become this entertainment star was pretty hard.

"I was proud of him, but there was part of me thinking, 'that's my world'. I could see the excitement he got out of it and I knew how that felt. But it wasn't me feeling it anymore."

Louise admitted that the thought of never performing again made her feel "physically sick".

She initially confirmed the couple were living apart in October and filed for divorce in December 2017.

But Louise was left with one heartbreaking regret about the breakdown of her marriage – not letting Jamie know how she was feeling sooner.

"I wish, three years ago, I’d been able to just speak up. For a long time it was easy to blame him," she told the Mail on Sunday.

"In the past six months, I’ve thought, you know what, it was down to me to say, 'something’s not right. My self-esteem is really struggling. I’ve got no passion. I love my kids more than anything in the world'.

"I love what I do, too, and I haven’t quite got the guts to go out and try to do it again."

Louise confessed she should have been the one to tell Jamie how she was feeling but says she "just didn't speak up".

She added: "I wish I’d just gone, 'right, the kids are getting older, and I love my job and I’m going to give it a real go, and Jamie, if you don’t like it, tough. But if you do like it, let’s talk about it'."

Her biggest regret was not opening up, because if she had then "at least I’d have known I tried."

And the pain of their split is something that will stay with Louise for the rest of her life.

"There'll never be a day that I don't feel sad about it because he was my husband for 20 years and the love I had for him will never leave me," she previously told Metro.

"But, I've had to pick myself up and find a better place and I'm definitely loving working again."

Having spent decades devoting her life to other people, Louise wanted a change and to do something for herself.

What followed were successful stints in West End shows Cabaret and 9 to 5, as well as her comeback album, Heavy Love.

After the couple's divorce in 2017, she told Stella Magazine: "I have spent most of my life pleasing everyone else, worrying about being judged and thinking I should always do the right thing by staying at home, looking after my kids and my husband. I lost myself.

"I didn’t want to continue running around after everyone else, and occasionally promoting a yoghurt or doing a little TV presenting job.

"I wanted to sing, I wanted to perform… And that is when the s*** hit the fan."

Relaunching her career has been an exciting time for Louise, but has understandably left her with some fears of starting afresh without the loving safety net of her 19-year marriage.

"I’m scared about the future. Jamie and I have got to a really positive place with each other. But I don’t know what life is going to be like," she told You magazine in March 2019.

"I’m nervous about work and career and all those things, because I’m not young. And people are judgmental."

While Jamie has had another relationship since the split, Louise has found it harder to get back into the dating scene.

Louise was reportedly "knocked sideways" after discovering Jamie had started dating someone new, as he was spotted walking with Swedish model Frida Andersson-Lourie in the Surrey countryside earlier this year.

A source told Heat magazine: "Louise has been determined to find love again ever since Jamie got together with this new woman, especially as there had been talk of them giving things another go for the sake of the boys.

"It really hit Louise hard when she found out about Jamie’s new girlfriend and has been making sure that she’s going out with friends lots and meeting people.

"She’s also asked her mates to set her up and has been on a few dates."

Louise has confessed the divorce was the most difficult thing she has even been through, but her and Jamie have both made their sons their priority.

They have remained on good terms for the sake of their two boys and shared time with them during a testing year.

"It's the toughest thing anyone will ever go through. It was the toughest thing I've ever experienced in my life and every day is a new challenge with it," she told Lorraine Kelly in March this year.

"I have to say the boys are our priority and moving forward like that is all we can do."

Louise also heaped praise on ex-husband Jamie, explaining he was a "fabulous dad" to their sons.

She added: "I'm really lucky I've been able to do the job I do because he's happy to share everything with me. I know friends who don't have that."

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