Pop star Bebe Rexha has opened up about living with bipolar disorder for the first time since she revealed she suffered from the condition.
Bebe – real name Bleta – tweeted in April last year that she is "bipolar and…not ashamed anymore."
Now she has told of her breakdown following her diagnosis – bipolar disorder, according to the NHS, is a condition "that affects your moods, which can swing from one extreme to another."
Bebe told Self magazine of her diagnosis: "It did kind of f*** me up for a little bit.
"I was very fearful…I didn't want to think there was something wrong with me."
On her decision to share her condition on social media, the 30 year old added: "That was my worst fear all my life – going crazy.
"I felt like me opening up to my fans was me finally saying, 'I'm not going to be imprisoned by this.'
"And maybe it'll make somebody not feel imprisoned, in that moment, if they feel like they're going through a rough time.
"That's why I decided to really open up and free myself from that."
She continued that the mental illness forced her to question what the future held.
"It's the war you have inside your head," Bebe told, "Will it affect my career? Will people judge me? Will they want to work with me?"
There were indications that Bebe might be suffering from a mental illness – she had also received a diagnosis of premenstrual dysphoric disorder, in which hormone fluctuations cause mood shifts ahead of a woman's period.
"My mum would call it code red," Bebe explained, "A day before [my period started], I would feel like my world was ending , that my life went to s***…I would get into these funks and be really depressed and not want to leave my house."
During her periods of mania, Bebe said she she would be "super hyper" and "couldn't control [her] emotions."
Her mood swings had a profound impact on her day to day thought process.
"It made me feel just weird feelings," Bebe said, "Weird emotions, weird thoughts all the time. Not normal thoughts.
"I'd be in the passenger seat of the car and I would want to open the door and jump out and just get f****** squashed – which is terrible."
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